LET ME BE YOUR PET

Let me be your pet
Think of all the love you'd get
Even after learning tricks
like doing flips and fetching sticks
I promise to be loyal,
assuming royal treatment
 
Let me be your pet
I think of all the food I'd get
Even if I'm unable
to put my paws on the table
I know that I'll get your attention
as a family extension
 
Let me be your pet
Put me on video cassette
with all of your relations
and family vacations
for everyone to treasure
all that gives you pleasure
 
Like a dog with a smile
or a cat in basket,
I'll belong to you
even while in the casket
 
Let me be your pet
to use me when you get upset
And holler out my dumb nickname
because you are the one to blame
Forgetting to let me out
and finding my mess all about
 
Get another pet
This relationship's all wet
I don't need my instincts
to sniff out what stinks
I hope it won't unnerve you
to know I observe you
 
Let me be your pet    
--------------------------------

SHE WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO HOT!!!!!

She was sooooooooooooo hot!

Her eyes would fry you
So svelte she'd melt you
Even under drizzle she would sizzle
Anything she handed you branded you

1-2-3-4-5
She was sooooooooooooo hot!

My lips would blister when I kissed her
My arms would smolder when I'd hold her

You know she was comin' 'cause
a cake would bake
a stew would stew
oil would boil and
batter would spatter

2-3-4

Where she laid down would slowly brown
Only way to distinguish her is with an extinguisher
With a glass of wine she would flambe'
Move in close, we'll both sautee'

Cold hard cash would turn to ash
Ice cream would turn to steam

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15
She was sooooooooooooo hot!
--------------------------------

CONTAGIOUS

We are contagious
to what the latest rage is
Contagious
for nits of all ages

Is it a sickness?
Or just a thickness?
We've got to lick this
free will killer

Contagious
gets on all the pages
Contagious
let's lock 'em up in cages

Why do we latch on
to the latest fashion?
This disease will catch on
in the right atmosphere, but

You're probably immune
if you didn't swoon
for hula hoops and pet rocks,
leisure suits and wood clogs

We are contagious
in different stages,
with an infection
of predilection for trash

It's not bacteria
so just be leery of
little urges for
spending splurges

Start with a quarantine
on Florentine art snobs,
foreign teen heartthrobs
and home shopping mart slobs

It hits you if it fits you
The fever grows because it knows who to pursue
Let's give it the old one-two punch,
no more "let's do lunch"

If you're contagious
try to save your wages
and be the first one on your block
to last
--------------------------------

DOCUMENT: 55 (Mitch Friedman/Ad Cooper)

Big blue marble, heh heh heh
Appears to resemble a fluctuating shresh
12 hours of night, 12 hours of day
Levels of strata sub sea-level mesh

Edifications incessantly hep
Population centers rely on commerce
Slave animal feces inform one's step
These nonetheless are not a raw resource

Upon disembarkment I find to be fact
walkways thought to be cool read square
Uncontrollable bacteria, that's where it's at
Trivium X is prevalent in hair

Can you dig the way these humans procreate?
Sexual appendages interlock
Hot rod locomotion, a disarming trait
Them humans, woo, a real gone stock!

The source of my linguistics is the language called English
My musical logistics are rock 'n roll
New thoughts circumvented through my prish
deep down in my soul, go!

Through constant procurement of articles
this is what we found:
The violent action of particles
produced a planet round

My hypothesis in summation
shall be clear to any daddio
Through certain unwavering indications
it is desirable to own a patio
--------------------------------

NEW KIND OF HUMAN
 
Isn't it time for a new kind of human?
One so different they'll be assumin'
it could not be homosapien
No chance of ancestors ape-ian
 
One that doesn't need a god, have a bod or lay down sod
One that will not shoot to kill, take the pill or cook with dill
One that will not break from stress, make a mess or stink at chess
 
Isn't it time for a new kind of human?
So if there are clouds mushroomin'
there'll be something 'round that's permanent
when we need a seed to germinate
 
For example, a sample member of this race would have a blob of
clay for faces to mold into any form, so as not to have a norm.
Next the neck would be a piston to connect the clockwork system
which would run without a winding, long as the piston is still
binding to it's source; lemon juice of course. In the juice are
nutrients pure and cured to work in synchronistic timing with
the system's task assigning department. All throughout the juice
solution are the elements essential for developments both mental
and physical, though it's in a dish. You control it all fluidically
though some would say that medically it is not possible to have
life without blood and brains.
 
Isn't it time for a new kind of human?
One so different they'll be assumin'
it could not be homosapien
No chance of ancestors ape-ian
--------------------------------

THE PAGEANT SONG
 
Everybody put your hands together
Everybody put your hands together
Everybody put your hands together now!!!
 
You've reached the top, the top of the ladder
You've never stopped and we couldn't be gladder
You're the people's choice tonight!
 
For one whole year, the world has your name on it
Do anything you want to do
You're A #1 tonight, oooooh!
 
You're the high-fallootin', rootin' tootin' top banana
You've passed all the rest, you've mastered the test
you're the cream of the crop, you're the absolute best!
 
You're the picture of perfection
with an element of style
     Noteworthy disposition
with that old familiar smile
 
With a superhuman effort of which we now speak
you've climbed the highest mountain and reached it's snowy
peak peak peak peak peak peak PEAK!
 
Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut
Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho
Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland
Massachusetts Michigan Mississippi Missouri Minnesota Montana
Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York
North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania
Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah
Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming
 
The courage of a Dr. Martin Luther King        "I have a dream"
The grace and style of a Fred Astaire          "Go Fred Go!"
The goal scoring prowess of a Rod Gilbert      "Gilbert shoots, he scores!"
With a little Tricky Dicky thrown in
 
The moment is here, the time is near, the answer is clear to me
It's you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you
YOU!
--------------------------------

VERY HAPPY BLUES (Ad Cooper/Mitch Friedman)

Well my woman make me happy, so happy night and day
Give me love and kisses, I got plenty more to say

Well my woman treat me right, you know she never treat me wrong
That's why I'm sittin' here strummin', writin' this happy blues song

Well my woman look like heaven, you know she never looks like hell
She's the finest looker in town, she's mine and that's swell

Well I love my career and I love my boss, it's true
I get paid lots of money for the little that I do

Well I ain't never been to the doctor, I ain't never had a cold
Loved everyday so far and I'm looking forward to getting old

Well I really dig my neighbor and I know he digs me too
When I need a cup of sugar he knows just what to do

Well I lost my job and I lost my money too
Got all the time I need to do the things I've been wanting to do
all my life

Well my woman asked me if I knew the way to San Jose
Well I wish you all the best in life if you decide to go that way

Well I'm so so so so happy, such a very happy day
Well I'm so so so so happy, so very happy everyday
Well I'm so unbelievably happy and I like it that way

Well I'm a happy man, baby, I'm a happy man
--------------------------------

GO RUN FREE (Ad Cooper/Mitch Friedman)

Great bear sees his shadow, takes to the night
Fetch some water from gentle stream
Teepee leans toward children's dreams
Antelope, oh antelope, go run free

Oh baby, the way you kissed me really turned me on

Forked tongue liar is merely a fool
Distant horizon promises game
A rewarded man does not seek fame
Desert dog, oh desert dog, go run free

Small boy seeks comfort in the presence of others
The seasons change, as does my life
A tender rose calls my wife
Sasquatch, oh Sasquatch, go run free

Young scout ventures forth to seek new ways
He hones his craft through silent days
His people flocked to him from miles around
but lightning struck him down

Oh baby, the way you kissed me really turned me on
--------------------------------

KLOREEN
 
Kloreen, with eyes of pools of blue
Your sheen, a gentle lilting hue
 
Let me dive into your sea of blond
hairlike snarelike gentle frond,
to beat a backstroke on beyond
the sun soaked horizon, with your eyes on me
 
Kloreen, with eyes of pools of blue
Young queen, a purpose to pursue
 
Let me float my little body boat
by your purring, furry throat,
a girlish whirlpool where I tote
my tension revolving, dissolving from a scree
 
Eighty bathing beauties from the movies
could not match your aqua-spectacular
 
Raindrops rebound in triplicate
Teardrops trickling are tickling it
Sunspots grapple to evaporate
Paramecium populate
No activity of this nature
throws pacifity from your stature
 
Kloreen,
I'm keen on you
--------------------------------

HELL FIRE WOMAN (Mitch Friedman/Ad Cooper)

HELL HELL HELL HELL HELL . . .
Give me a hell fire woman
Y O W !
I want to funk her tonight
Give me a hell fire woman
UH UH UH UH UH UH UHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
--------------------------------

SING-A-LING (Ad Cooper)

I wanna sing sing sing a swing swing swing
Ring ding a ling for some tingling
When I get a warm feeling all over my body,
something like drink drink drinkin' hot toddies
There is no doubt, no mistakin'
no P-A pausin', no hesitatin'
'Cause what it's all about in this cold world
is a man for a woman and a boy for a girl
 
BING-BONG-BING
IT'S A RING-DING SING-A-LING
 
I'll drink a toast to the words I'm singin'
S-A-N-G swing swing swingin'
'Cause they sound so sweet rollin' off my lips
Strictly for the hip hip hip
SENSATIONAL is how I feel
Shakin' my head and movin' with zeal
I'm gonna bring the beat on ho-e-ome
'cause it is bound to ro-e-ome
 
BING-BONG-BING
IT'S A RING-DING SING-A-LING
 
Manhattan, New York and old Paris
ain't got nothin' on me
--------------------------------  

TRICK-KNEE TRIXIE

Narrator: In the car, to the bar . . .
Wife: What a night ahead!
Narrator: At the bar . . .
Bouncer: Sorry sir, it's ten bucks a head
Husband: Why so much?
Wife: Why we just want to have some drinks.
Bouncer: Take a look at the sign
    then tell me what you think about . . .

Trick-Knee Trixie
She goes backwards and forwards
No one knows the way
Trick-Knee Trixie will sway

Narrator: Afterwards . . .
Husband: What a show! We gotta go again
                 and again and again!
Wife: You can go. That's a show that's only fun for men.
--------------------------------  

SUPERBABY, WHAT ARE YOU? (Ad Cooper)

Honey, you look funny
but don't forget you're my bunny
You have got the money
to feed our son

Our boy's got water on the brain
He's a chubby little pain
Heroin in his vein
but the kid keeps fighting on

He's a superbaby
No I don't mean maybe
He's got nerves of steel and a vice-like grip

Big 'ol friggin' head
you'd swear he was a man
The telltale sign's his sideburns
like that cat from old Graceland

Simple and sweet, yup this kid's got meat
I put him in the kitchen sink to wash his sacred feet
but he went . . .

Down the drain
Down the drain (I saw it)
Down the drain
But I know he's still alive
Yes he went down the drain
                    down the drain (I swear it)
                    down the drain

Superbaby, what are you?
--------------------------------  

SLEEPTOWN

Bring it down, now
 
The "lay flat" light is lit, please recline
as we carve a tunnel through an arc of jumping sheep clouds
We'll snack on pills and warm milk
Don't forget the pillow headset
 
Bring it down, bring it down
 
White noise paints night
Dull descends like mighty nightgowns
In the aisles, on the wings
everything, dull
 
Bring it down, bring it down
 
Our dream feature for this evening
stars a cast of thousands from your life
set in surroundings of a logic jumbled,
all seen while you toss and tumble
 
Sex with stars, fights, flights
Endless home runs, endless runs home
Giants, gnomes
Murder, birth, sadness, mirth, space, Earth
Fall from a cliff, make a song, time travel . . .
 
Slight delay, can't sight a runway
There's congestion, circle 'round
soon we'll land in Sleeptown
 
Peer past prop propellers cutting puffy parallels to peek through
 
See Sneaky Pete the Peep Clown
prancing, dancing, chancing sound
through the streets of Sleeptown
 
Check out the second hand clicking rhythm marching metronome corps
winding on to chime time
 
Bring it down, bring it down
About to land in Sleeptown
 
The eyelid kids have started a movement
pacing, pouncing back and forth 'cross clouded ground
They cruise in snooze to snore store
to rev their nose and throat motors
 
That quiet wining, pitter patter
of a cat or dog may shatter calm
Armed, the squad of cotton wad rushes to the rescue!
A busker croons a womb tune over a heartbeat
far away down Dusky Street
 
Sleeptown, sleep